Funny love sayings. Lubrication for love situations. Levity for your love life. Humor quotes and more funny stuff. Like The Beatles said, "All You Need Is Love Jokes."

Lots more Love humor here - links at the bottom.
Share your own Love jokes in the Comment box.

Funny Sayings:
"Love," Group 1

He who falls in love with himself will have no rivals.

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.

Man rules the roost. Woman rules the rooster.

If love is blind, then marriage is a real eye opener.

Love is metaphysical gravity.

Love wouldn't be blind if the Braille weren't so much fun.

Love is what makes two people sit in the middle of a bench when there is plenty of room at both ends.

The key to love is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

Humor Quotes: "Love"
Group 2

The last time I saw him he was walking down lovers lane holding his own hand.
- Fred Allen

Love conquers all things except poverty and toothache.
- Mae West

It's better to have loved and lost than do forty pounds of laundry a week.
- Salvadore Dali

Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There's just too much fraternizing with the enemy.
- Henry Kissinger

Love is the answer, but while you are waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions.
- Woody Allen

Love in the Latin Language: Amo, Amas, Amtrack. “I love, You love, My baby left on the midnight train.”
- Greg Tamblyn

Turns out trying to get some sleep by telling an angry lover "Silence village idiot!" has the opposite effect.
- Kelkulus  @Kelkulus

Falling in love is a high-octane endocrine hormone cocktail.
- John Bradshaw

Funny Stuff
"Love," Group 3

Love is the one solution that will dissolve negativity. Of this I am positive.
- Swami Beyondananda (Steve Bhaerman)

Love is temporary insanity. Hate is eternal madness.
- NoLuckWanted ‏@NoLuckWanted

Love means never having to say "I'm sorry I ate your sandwich."
- Earthman Adam ‏@AdamOfEarth

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
- Walt Disney

Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull.
- H. L. Mencken

Love is only a dirty trick played on us to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham

Funny Love Sayings
Group 4

Love thy neighbor - and if he happens to be tall, debonair and devastating, it will be that much easier.
- Mae West

Love is an ocean of emotion entirely surrounded by expenses.
- Sir Thomas Robert Dewar

You know how birds just keep crashing into windows? Well, that's me and my love life.
- Tequila Girl ‏@lildandeli0n

Me: I thought it was true love.
Tattoo removal guy: They all do, buddy. Hold still.
- John Lyon‏ @JohnLyonTweets

Roses are flowers, violets are flowers, I'd love you more if you had super powers.
- Adam of Earth @AdamOfEarth

Don’t underestimate love at first sight. Many of us might not pass a second inspection.
- Author Unknown

Funny Love Sayings
Group 5

If you can stay in love for more than two years, you're on something.
- Fran Lebowitz

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
- Charles M. Schulz


Love is like the measles. The older you get it, the worse the attack.
- Rainer Maria Rilke

I bought natural deodorant on accident one time and learned love is not unconditional.
- Larry ‏@VocabuLarry

Love is out there somewhere and when i find it its going to do all the laundry.
- meatshirt ‏@prettysadmostly

I wish people would love everybody else the way they love me. It would be a better world.
- Muhammad Ali

Funny Love Sayings
Group 6

Love is much nicer to be in than an automobile accident, a tight girdle, a higher tax bracket, or a holding pattern over Philadelphia.
- Judith Viorst

Love is a crocodile in the river of desire.
- Bhartṛhari, Śatakatraya, 5th century

Love is the only disease that makes you feel better.
- (attributed to Sam Shepard)

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question?
- Lily Tomlin

Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it.
- Woody Allen

Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.
- Christopher Marlowe

Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
- Rita Rudner

To be in love is merely to be in a state of perceptual anesthesia.
- H. L. Mencken

The head never rules the heart, but just becomes its partner in crime.
- Mignon McLaughlin

ShareFacebookXPinterestTumblrRedditWhatsAppMessenger

More like this? Go here:

Cute Love Sayings and Quotes

Funny Quotes About Men

Hilarious Quotes About Women

Or back:

Return from "Funny Love Sayings" to "Cute Quotes: Men, Women, Love Marriage, etc."

Return to the Home Page: "Funny Quotes, Funny Jokes, Funny Sayings"